Henry Crabb Robinson, 30 Russell Square, London, to Lady Anne Isabella Noel Byron, [no address], 19 December 1854.

[f. 67r]

London

30 Russell Square

19th Dec: 1854.

Dear Lady Byron,

       You have renderd it easy for me to state my opinion on the relation in which you stated towards the Widow & Son of our departed friend, by your remarking on a former letter from me that its value consisted in pretending the subject under new points of view – this is the chief value of opinions in all cases where like the present, the person written to is much better able to judge of the matter than the writer. It matters comparatively whe little whether the opinion given be in itself the better or worse –

       In the present case I take for granted that you did not mean to put it to me as a question whether or not you ought to accede to the mothers wishes; but in what mode the adherence to your own determination should be presented to her.

       Now there is no practical rule subject to fewer exceptions, than that know[n] by the axiom – fortiter in re, suaviter in modo – But what is the right to be done in this case, depends on circumstances on which I can only form presumptions or guesses – In case of your death after the settlement, if the Trustees had refused to act in compliance with the Deed, the mother as Guardian might have compelled them – The legal power is in them. They alone can draw out the half yearly Dividend and I guess that the mother applying for the Dividend, they have declined acting without your authority – A great deal depends on the words of the Deed – And the “extent of discretionary power” possessed by them to require [f. 67v] the nature & degree of education – (or “learning” rather) as the condition of their handing over the Dividend to the mother – The place of education involves a great deal. With respect to which I really do not know how your claim on behalf of the boy can be successfully opposed – Even by the mother after the boy has attained seven years She affirms that her Husband meant that the period of maternal power should be extended two years – She may be mistaken in this And any fact tending to prove that might be civilly stated –

       The father may have thought highly of Mr Allen but his ^Mr A’s^ opinion is of least value when it obviously favours his own interest – The “wrong” supposed to be done to Charlie must depend on the place to which he would be removed quite as much as that from which he is to be taken –

       Any complaint made by the mother that she is considered as a non entity, is met by the remark that it is only on points on which it is not usual to consider the opinion of mothers as such of an importance – bodily health – manners morals – All these she is entitled to consider as her department But scholarship is a different matter altogether –

       The mother admits that advantages of a higher character might be obtained at a more costly school – but she is unable to defray the surplus expence She therefore intimates that she will condescend [f. 68r] to give due attention to any opposition which may be made to the scheme she has resolved on – And seems to demand that she should at once retain the boy at the least expensive school, receiving the money destined to defray the charge of a higher school – She seems aware of your objection & carefully puts “nominal” before the £50, insinuating that more will be wanted – how much she does not pretend to know, but of the year concerning ^during^ which alone she now pretends to claim a right to decide how it shall be spent – she says she will spend six months in ascertaining the exact expences of the school – This as well as other parts of the letter, betrays a great want of common judgement – And she gives a manifest advantage to those who oppose her views by her reference to the retaining plate if not books – It would not be worth while to allude to this part of her letter in any answer if it were not good that all such topics should be introduced, on account of the effect they would have on those to whom she might find it necessary to shew your letter in order to gain partizans –

       If you can get a copy of this part of the deed And it conforms & strengthens your view beyond all doubt, it may be advisable to be positive & as short as an enumeration of the [f. 68v] topics in your favor admits of – And I should close the correspondence as soon as possible – But then this depends on the personal character & wishes of the Trustees – And on numerous other incidents of which I know nothing –

       Tho it is a consciousness of your legal power which enables you to act with firmness, I do not mean that I think you should present this as a reason on the contrary, you will assert the duty of doing your utmost to make the boy a scholar – as well as a good man –

       I agree with you that other topics ought not to be mixed up with this – otherwise I might have something interesting to communicate However, I shall, I expect, dine in company with Mr Jas Martineau at Mr Long’s today.

       I was about to communicate the contents of your letter of Saturday to Mr J. J. Tayler when a brief but sad note from him announced the death of his only Son a few hours before!!!

      I hope to write tomorrow –

                                     faithfully your’s

                                               H. C. Robinson

The Lady Noel Byron

Text:  MS-DEP Lovelace-Byron 109, fols. 67-68, Bodleian Library, Oxford.