Mary Carey, Woburn, to John Sutcliff, Olney, 27 December 1802.

Woburn  Dec 27th 1802.

Sir,

         You will probably be surprised when you once more behold the hand writing of a person, who has never considered herself, other than an Amanuensis to Mrs Short when addressing you; as concluding, perhaps that all necessity for such services seem now at an end – And had I priviledg’d, when you were last here, to have known the nature of your embassage, it is probable, Mr S— [Sutcliff] had been spared the trouble of perusing this Epistle: As it is certain, I should then, have expressed myself viva voce, as I am constrained now to do, thro’ this more silent medium. –

Far be it from me, ever to assume publicity of character, or do ought, that should seem as introducing myself into notice. The sunset shades, best suit me, those I have sought, and seeking I have found them. Mine has been a happy concealment, like the Shunamite I dwell among my own people, wishing neither to be spoken for to the King, nor to the captain of the host – And, but for the hope of serving my widowed friend. Your studies, my good Sir, as a publick character in the Missionary Society I think, had never been disturbed by me: yet if this intrusion require forgiveness I am perswaded you will pardon me.

I understand from Mrs Short that some of the Society expressed their concern and solicitude for ^her^ at the last Meeting; and was thankful to hear it, yet am ready to ask, How any, who are capable of impression can be otherwise? Mrs S—has made considerable sacrifices to that Missionary Society, such as she was by no means inclined to make upon natural principles – such as she ^had^ consented to, upon far higher – I have heard her repeatedly say that but for the urgent pleadings of Mr Thomas, and her other friends (certain that her Sister would not accompany Mr Carey unless she went also) that she could not have consented to brave the various dangers, which it was evident, must be risqued by such compliance, yet when it was urged [f. 191v] that by her refusal, she would be the means, of separating those, who had been solemnly united for life – She put all private and personal considerations out of the question, and, actuated by a sense of duty, prepared herself for the voyage – I would ask, Whether she may not now, as one, totally unprovided for, look up to that Society for preservation to whose interest, she so unreservedly relinguished her own? My heart answers, that not only generosity and honor demand it of them but something more which I need not say – Yet if these sacrifices want an emphasis, surely Mr Short’s kindness ^ to Mr Carey^ when on the shores of Hindostan, with his little family destitute of supplies, and almost forlorn, can never be forgotten, but these must have weight even with those who are least disposed to give such actions their proper gravity. I never yet was a stranger in a strange land and I pray if the will of God that I never may, yet methinks I feel the heart of a Stranger and ^with^ quietness of sensibility, realise how chearing, how like the Suns first darting beams, such an overture as Mr Shorts, to Mr Carey, would have been to me in similar circumstances. Methinks it would have filled my heart, with the softest sensations of gratitude it would have excited in my Spirit, the liveliest emotions of thankfulness – I should have exclaimed, in the extacy of my Soul, ‘What hath God wrought’! and how hath he raised me up a deliverer!

I should have said let this kindness never be forgotten, but rather engraven on enduring brass! And ought ^not^ such conduct to make indelible impression[s] on the minds of all who are interested therein however remotely? Ought it not to be abiding in it’s effects? Until the present time, those most interested in those favors have had no proper opportunity to discover the warmth of their sensations, but now they may. Now they have one, the most suitable! The scales have alter’d their position, the one which was aloft has descended and the wheel is turned! The widow of this friend is destitute she has not wherewith to support herself. Yet, perhaps, some may say, in part she [f. 192v] is capable of maintaining herself. I ask by what means? India has bereaved her of health, it’s fervid sun has exhaled her strength ^and^ she is not what she was when she left these Northern shores – Then she was independant – Then she could fill an active or a sedentary sphere, but now ^she^ cannot either. She has relinquished that for others, which was as a Jewel unto her for which no proper recompense can be ever made. Never can she be indemnified for the loss sustained! Do you think I paint too high! Ah, no – Ah no, my heart testifies for me, whose vivid tients would add an higher lustre than any I have used. –

It was quite in a providential way that I first became acquainted with Mrs Short – her history and her sorrows often touched me tenderly before Mrs S— left England. Since then, I have felt the uncertainty of her situation, in that degree, which a mind, not naturally obtuse may be supposed to sensate them. I have repeatedly put myself in ye situation of one so much bereft, enquiring What would I, that a friend should do for me, in similar circumstances, and, as actuated by the answer of my heart, I now write. I now endeavour to stir up pure Minds by way of remembrance.

         I am a wretched pleader for myself, but for my friends, I feel an ardor whieh only love inspires. Well I know, that poor Mrs Short, would rather suffer indigence than urge the duty of assisting her on any one, altho’ her views, of subjects I have touched, are exactly similar with my own – And having said this I need not add more. My letter, I trust, will be it’s own apology.

                     With united respects to your whole family

                                 I remain

                                             Sir,

                                               Very respectfully yours

                                                                     Mary Carey.

Address: none

Note: Copy of a Letter | to Rev. John Sutcliff | Olney. 

Text: John Rippon Letters, British Library, Add. Ms. 25376, ff. 191-92; the above is a copy of the original letter that was sent to John Sutcliff in Olney; the above is not in the hand of Mary Carey.