Maria Grace Andrews, Isleworth, to Elizabeth Saffery, Salisbury, [Saturday], 30 July 1796.

 My very dear Friend,

   The extreme desire I have felt to converse with you, ever since the sad moment, of separation, will I trust at length be gratified, so far as ye pen can do it. But O my beloved Mrs Saffery, how many things must be left unsaid, of which in personal intercourse ye countenance is sufficiently expressive, at least to One who like you, has been accustomd to read there some of ye most secret emotions of my heart.

   Thursday I received ye Box from whence I hasted to take all yt was comparatively valuable to me ye letters of my dr Friends. I opend yours with considerable agitation, the effects of which I felt very sensibly for some hours opportunity for reply did not then seem to offer, & in ye Night my dr Anne was taken quite ill tho’ ye symptoms gradually abated I was much deprest yesterday on her Acc:t as indeed the state of her health seems very delicate.  The shock of an Explosion, occasion’d by ye blowing up of another Powder Mill adding to ye tremor of my Spirits I found myself absolutely incapable of writing to my dr Mrs S– my repeated attempts indeed proved yt I was more likely to increase yr anxiety than remove it by answering to your tender enquiries in such a state of mind –

   Our Anna is today charmingly recoverd, thanks to a prayer hearing God.  

   I wish I could obey ye sweet command of friendship & write freely, with less reluctance than I feel at ye moment.  Were my Mind serene, & tranquil, as ye beautiful scene of nature now before me, I could willingly lead you into ye close recesses of my heart: but also the conflict, & confusion there, makes it more often resemble ye tumultuous deep when ruffled by ye winds; as you lately beheld it from ye Clift.  But I wd not leave my Friend, to conjecture ye worst from ye description.  No let me assure you yt ye Bow is on ye Cloud and tho’ I am often ready to wish for ye “wings of a dove yt I might hasten my escape from ye stormy wind, & tempest” I trust I know by experience what it is to have ye rebellious passions push’d into a Calm by ye sweet & awful voice of him who says “be still & know yt I am God” –

   Perhaps it wd be wise to pass over in silence those emotions experienced during my Journey suffice it to say yt I sicken’d at sight of every object which reminded me that I was farther & farther removing from ye society, which constituted too great a part of my felicity. My fellow Travellers pitied my apparent indisposition, but they could not sympathize that sickness of heart, which render’d me quite insensible to that of ye Body. As I drew nearer home my Spirits insensibly revived, and in ye embraces of my dearest Anna when I arrived there I enjoy’d a kind of short lived forgetfulness.  I found her in interesting circumstances from ye Quarter we suspected setting aside Mr A’s approbations. This together with another affair of ye same descriptions, renders our domestic conversations, frequently inimical to my peace, in a way quite unintended.  I earnestly wish I was in Town I hope to be there next week.  You will not fail writing to me freely. Direct either to Newman or Chapel St.  We had a letter from Mr S– [Thomas Scott] on Wednesday Mrs S was then up – and ye Family in general well – There will be no difficulty arise in future in yr directing for me at home.  I found it in vain to attempt hiding the state of my mind from ye penetrating affection of my dearest Anna & no other person will see ye letters. Do tell me in your next if anything has transpired which might strengthen my fears respecting Hannah.  Let me entreat you my dr Mama to use every possible means to prevent her suspicions, if she has them, gaining ground.

   But it is time to say something relative to dr Mr Saffery’s letter.  You are I think too well acquainted with my heart to make it requisite that I should use many professions of sympathy in the mingled pain & pleasure wch intelligence is calculated to excite my mind is alternately gladden’d & deprest whenever I think upon his Mission.  But surely our joy ought to preponderate.  The delight he takes in, united with ye success which attends ye work will sweeten all his toil & render yt season of separation pleasant which without such views & feelings wd be insupportable indeed! I think I see my beloved Friend turn pale while she thinks over ye return of ye Spasms but surely ye deliverance wrought ought to excite our Confidence in ye God of Salvation

   I must say adieu

         Yrs with the tenderest Esteem

                                 Maria Grace Andrews

I am glad to receive such agreeable news of Mr Davis my sister unites in affectionate respects to him & Mrs P–  and in suitable remembrances to all dr Friends.  Respects to Mr F– love to Hannah in particular; will write in a few day to her – let me entreat you to burn ys without delay & let me know it

Yr Anna begs to be rememberd with inexpressible tenderness our united love to dr Mr S –  when you write

Text: Saffery/Whitaker Papers, acc. 142, I.A.11.(c.), Angus Library, Regent's Park College, Oxford. Address: Mrs Saffery | Exeter Street  | Sarum | 30th July 1796. Postmark: Isleworth, 30 July 1796. For a complete annotated version of this letter, see Timothy Whelan, gen. ed., Nonconformist Women Writers, 1720-1840 (London: Pickering & Chatto, 2011), vol. 6, pp. 128-30. At this time, John Saffery of Salisbury and William Steadman of Broughton were conducting a village preaching tour of Cornwall, having left Salisbury on 27 June 1796, spending some time initially at Plymouth. They itinerated until 7 September, after which they returned to Salisbury and Broughton.