Caleb Evans, Downend, to Mary Steele, Broughton, [Tuesday] 19 July 1785.

Down End near Bristol July 19. 1785.

   I scarcely know whether I ought to apologize to my Dear Frd for not having wrote sooner, or for writing at all; for I am sure I have nothing to write which will be worth while for Sylvia to take the pains I know she must do to read it.   And yet I too well know the friendliness of her heart, not to know that she will feel pleasure in receiv:g an epistle from one she honors with the appellation of a friend, tho’ it sh:d be as perh:s D.r Johnson wd have said inanity itself.  Indeed my Subject will be less than nothing, as the circumstances in which I was when I left Sylvia & her little company of Nuns, oblige me to say more than I could wish to do of myself.  Of our safe arrival you heard by y.r dear & hon:d Father’s letter, & since he left us, tho’ I have been once or twice exceed:g low yet I think I am much better upon the whole, as I was able on L. Day to preach twice with a degree of pleasure, and to catech.z the children.  The quiet I enjoy where I now am, and ye affect:t little flock here whom I talk to every wedn.y even:g, are most pleasing circumstances, and the source of no small satisfaction.  Sometimes I flatter myself I have indeed a visit from my God, and what mild luster that spreads over every scene it enlivens, you know better than I can describe.  I wish to be found exactly in y.t situation in wch it may be said with propriety and truth, Blessed is y.t Serv.t whom his Lord when he cometh shall find so doing!

   I hope my Assist:t will be better than I fear’d. I am more happy ab.t him than I was a good deal. His preaching awes, edifies, and delights me.  And yet I dare say your peevish Priest wd not relish him at all. I have heard three Serm:s from him since my return, &  am going to hear him this evening.  The first sermon was upon saving that which was lost. The next upon the everlasting punishment of the wicked.  The last upon the unity and diversity of the church of X:t.  Ye are the body of X.t and members in particular.  But were I to attempt to tell you how he describ’d the unity of Xt’s body as having the same common Support, the members mutually dependent upon each other, & actuated by the same hopes & fears &c, and the members in particul:r, varying in capacity, situation, disposition &c, & yet all contributing to ye perfection of ye whole, and then lead you, as he did, to the contemplation of ye perfection of this body at ye fin.l consummation of all things, I sh.d only convince you how much easier it is to feel than to describe. Surely Infidels ought to have little Souls, for what can there be to expand and fill an enlarged Soul if you throw aside the august ye sublime ideas which religion alone presents to our Minds!  Devotion is the highest mental luxury, ’tis possible to indulge in.  I am griev’d that my earthly heart sh.d be so incapable, as I often find it is, of this indulgence in it’s highest degrees.  I long to be what the world wd call an enthusiast for God.  Pardon me, my dear grand vicaress, I don’t mean a dark a sullen a gloomy enthusiast!  No, I mean a cheerful, lively, humble, thankful enthusiast! I want to be swallowed up in God; really & practically, voluntarily to make him, what he necessarily is in himself, ALL IN ALL.  This enthusiasm [paper torn] my d.r Sylvia on y.r sweet pupils, & tell y.m, [paper torn] from the vibrations of y.r own heart, they never can be happy, they never can be any thing but insipid triflers, little unmean:g Beings, if not worse, till they have drank largely into it.

   But I forget my Sylvia’s eyes.  I must add y.t my dear wife thinks with much pleasure on her late visit to Brought:n, checq.d as it was with the indispos:n of her Fidelio, and is much obl.d to Sylvia & her other d.r frds there for all their kind attentions & friendship.  We were sorry to part with our d.r frds when they set out for Worcestersh.r, but happy they left us so well.  I supp.s you h.v heard from Persh.r of th.r arriv.l there. Miss [illegible name] is with us here, & joins us in love to Sally.  We have had fine rains, and the weather is refreshing bey.d description. I sh.d ask for a letter cou’d my frd write with:t inconven.e, but I hope to hear of you all by my dau.r & will theref.r only add our united love to her, yourself, & the whole group, & that I remain, with the sincerest & purest fdship, y.rs affec.y

                     C Evans

Text: STE 5/16/vi, Steele Collection, Angus Library, Regent's Park College, Oxford.  Postmark: Bristol. Address: Miss Steele / Broughton / to the care of Mr Hackett / Hosier in / Sarum.