Daniel Turner, Abingdon, to Mary Steele, Broughton, [Thursday] 19 November 1778.

Abingdon Novr 19 1778

Dear Madam,

   Our very good & dear Friend, Mr C. Evans informs me, by Letter, that you are beyond measure afflicted, at the loss you have sustain’d by the Death of your good Aunt the Excellent Theodosia, and desires, &, indeed, violently urges me, to write to You upon the Subject, in hopes of my saying something that may moderate your excess of Grief. I can deny Him nothing in my power; this, therefore, must be my Apology, who, otherwise, as being a stranger to you, might be justly tho’t very impertinent thus to intrude upon your Sorrows.  Yet, tho’ a stranger to Your person, I am not so to Your Character, which has engaged much of my Esteem, & interested me so highly in Your favour, that I feel the warmest wishes in my Heart to have it in my power to alleviate your distress.

   Our Friend, I find, has himself written to you, & what can I say, after what so sympathizing & judicious a Friend as Mr C. Evans must have said, in the strain of Consolation? The Topics of this kind have, for so many Ages, been drain’d of their good things, & become so trite & common, that it is next to impossible to say any thing new upon the Subject. But the Truth is, that it is not what this or the other tenderhearted Friend may suggest to the afflicted, that can be any thing more than a means in the Hand of God for the purpose. If that best of Beings is pleased to carry what is said to the Heart, or, by His own more immediately gracious Influence upon it, to Check the Tide of Grief, & lay open the springs of divine consolation & pour them into it, the desirable Effect will follow. To Him, therefore, we should in such Cases always look.

   However, much may be done towards our Comfort, even in the greatest Afflictions, by resolutely endeavouring to refrain the extravagant sallies of Imagination; calling in the aids of Reason & Religion; applying with redoubled Ardour to the Throne of grace, & study.g the Bible with renew’d attention: That divine Book abounds with a variety of great, & precious, & Heart-Cheering promises, with the most instructive displays of the Wisdom & Benevolence of the Divine Providence, & gives us such striking Views of the littleness of all the mere concerns of Time, & the infinite greatness of those of Eternity, that it is scarcely possible for us, even in the most distressings Scenes of Life, not to find something to calm the Tumult of our Spirits, & inspire us with Hope & Comfort, if seriously attended to.

   Be therefore, my dear Young Friend, much in prayer, & converse with the Book of God – Instead of abandoning your Self to Sorrow, & indulging every Melancholly & distressing Idea that rises in your Mind, call your Heart to Order, contemplate the gracious Goodness that always accompanies the most painful dispensations of Providence to the humble & devout.  Turn your Eye to the Cloud of Witnesses, the many glorious Examples of Faith & patience set before you in the sacred Records, with that of the Lord Jesus Himself, that greatest & most illustrious of all Sufferers, at their Head.  There is a Voice in this awful & trying Event, that, while it speaks bitter things to you, calls upon you to be still & know, that the disposer of it is God; who, while He exercises a Sovereign right over all your Comforts & Enjoyments, & gives & takes them away at His pleasure, does neither, but with the most benevolent design, & promise that all shall work together for good to them that love Him. He has taken from you a most dear & delightful Friend; but it was because it was best; best, not only for Her but for You; yes, even for you. – Her precious Spirit has taken its Flight, & gone from a tottering painful prison here on Earth, to exult in the glorious Liberty of the Children of God in the Worlds of Immortality – Gone, to the Light of Jesus, that dearest & best of all Friends – Here let us pause a little, & contemplate the delightful tho’t – Let the Hand of Faith draw a side the Veil between this & that blissful World & the Eye of Faith will perceive her happy, happy spirit, near the Eternal Throne beholding with transport the Glory of her Redeemer, perfectly transform’d into His Likeness! – Oh! with what delight, & joy unspeakable must she contemplate His adoreable person, enter into the divine Beauties of His astonishing Character, & the glorious triumphs of His Cross as they appear in that World of immortal Light!

   Sweet was the Lyre she so often devoutly tuned to her melodious Songs amongst us here on Earth, but infinitely sweeter that Golden Harp, with which she is accompanying the New Song to Him that sits upon the Throne, & the Lamb that was slain, with ye heavenly Host above. In this View of things turn your tho’ts inward & ask your self¾“What am I doing, while I thus suffer my Heart to be torn asunder with unavailing Grief? Do I, can I really wish that so blessed spirit to leave all those delights & glories to come & dwell again in this World of Sin & Sorrow, for the sake of enjoying, a few more Hours of Social Converse with her? Have I no more Regard for her Felicity than this? – Is my Love to her so selfish? – No, No. [paper torn] dry up my Tears, & rejoice with her in her joy – Tread [paper torn] closely in Her Steps of piety & benevolence, & press forward more earnestly than ever towards that better Country whither she is gone.”

   God has given you, Madam, a more enlightened Understanding, a brighter Genius, a more exalted & enlarged Soul, than He has done to many others, and rank’d you with the distinguish’d few; He expects, & all that know you expect, from you a more exalted & distinguishing Deportment under the Calamities of Life, more exemplary fortitude, patience, resignation and remember, the spirit of that blessed Religion you profess, charges you, to set your affections on the Things that are above, & not on the Earth: – To look, not at the things that are seen, & are temporal, but at those that are not seen, & are Eternal: & the more closely you attend to such Exhortation, the more light & momentary will the afflictions of this Life & World appear, & the more uninteresting all its Enjoyments. I would not wish you to possess a stoical apathy, were it possible; but to feel as a Christian, under the governing Influence of the true & genuine Spirit of the Christian Doctrine & Grace. Aim at this; and particularly guard against the afflicting Injustice of charging your self with any Impropriety of Conduct towards your Friend, as I hear you do. Every Body about you knows, & your own Heart knows, you could not be guilty of any such thing in reality, whatever your now distressed Imagination may Suggest to the Contrary. Your fault lies in loving her too much. For even the good & amiable Theodosia might be loved too much – Souls whom the Ties of Friendship binds, And partners of our Blood, seize a large portion of our Minds, & leave but half for God.

   Wishing you the most effectual aids of divine Grace, & the most abundant Consolations of Christ, under this severe Trial, I am,

         Dear Madam,

                     your sincere & affect.te

                                 sympathizing Fr.d

                                                                     D. Turner

P.S.  Best respects to Mr & Mrs Steele.  Dr Grosvenors Mourner, if you have not seen, I wd recommend to yr attentive perusal as an excellent Book suited to your case.

   Mr & Mrs Jos. Tomkins in the S.t Helen’s Street Abingdon desire their best respects to Mr Steele & earnestly wish he w.d bring his Daughter to stay some time at their House, where everything w.d be done to lessen her weight of affliction, that was in their power.

Text: STE 5/16/x, Steele Collection, Angus Library, Regent's Park College, Oxford. Postmark: Abingdon, 20 November. Address: To /Miss Steele at / Willm Steele’s Esqr / Broughton / Hants.  For Turner, see above, n. 427. Joseph Tomkins, Sr., and his wife were the future parents-in-law to Anne Steele, Mary’s half-sister. For more on the Tomkins family, see Michael G. Hambleton, A Sweet and Hopeful People: The Story of Abingdon Baptist Church, 1649-2000 (Abingdon: Abingdon Baptist Church, 2000), pp. 5, 23-27, 32-34, 43, 110.