Anne Andrews, Isleworth, to Mrs. Elizabeth Saffery, Salisbury, [Friday], 5 February 1796.

My beloved Friend

   I am once more favor’d with an opportunity of addressing you, after waiting for it some time with no small degree of impatience: yes, I indeed felt an earnest desire to thank you for your affectionate Epistle which was consolatory to me, both as it was a testimony of your friendship, and as its subject was that sweet & inexhaustible one whh shall for ever employ the tongues & fill & rejoice the Hearts of the Redeemed.  When conversing on this precious theme, we anticipate in a measure that blissful Period when

For ever his dear sacred name

Shall dwell upon our tongue,

And Jesus, & Salvation be

The close of every Song.

Alas! instead of hearing that Name pronounced with delight & reverence how often is my Heart pained by the profane & contemptuous use of it  He is indeed as the Prophet says despised & rejected of Men; they can see no form or comeliness in him  What a mercy my dr Friend to be enabled by divine Grace to behold his glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father full of grace and Truth –

   This is Monday wh.h tho’ generally a day of comparative liberty and ease is embitter’d with painful reflections on the past: yesterday was spent in anguish of Spirit better felt than described: but I will not burthen your Mind with a detail of Sorrows wh.h you are already acquainted with – It is certainly more judicious in the Traveller to contemplate and converse about the desired end of his Journey than to be continually lamenting over the troubles and difficulties on the way – our conduct in this particular is too little like that described by Dr Watts in a Hymn we have often join’d in admiring – he says

Our Journey is a thorny maze

But we march upward still

Forget these Troubles of the way

And reach at Zion’s Hill –

But how shall we speak of this glorious Prospect when it is shut from our eyes thro’ the influence of unbelief and fear, how discourse of eternal rest and peace when the Yard is fill’d with confusion, and meditate on light and joy ineffable while Darkness overspreads & beclouds the Mind, and it is with grief I am constrain’d to confess that that is frequently my case, it brings to my remembrance the expression of the Psalmist – How shall we sing the Lords Song in a strange land  I sometimes think if it should be the Lord’s will to restore to me the invaluable Privileges I once enjoy’d, I should find them more sweet than ever; but this is looking too much to the probable frame of my Mind, an error wh.h frequent disappointment has not been able to cure me of – it is but a dim anticipation which stops me short of that glorious state where –

We shall sit and sing and tell

The wonders of his Grace

Till heavenly raptures fill our hearts

And smiles on every face.

I have not been favor’d with an Interview with my dr friends in Chapel Street & indeed of late such has been the situation of Affairs at home that I have not judged it proper to solicit the indulgence.  My feelings will not suffer me to leave my father at a time when the perplexities of business surrender my presence absolutely necessary to his comfort, but besides this you will easily conceive that it behoves me to give up every thing in a way of gratification who have so many things of infinitely greater importance for wh.h to contend – however I think I can say that I esteem such Sacrifices as nothing, so that by any means I may be enabled to surmount the obstacles I meet with in my progress Heavenward, hold on & out unto the end, & obtain the end of my faith even the Salvation of my Soul.

   ’Tis true I long earnestly to see them, and not only this but it is now nearly 3 months since it has been said to me “Come let us go up unto the House of the Lord” – It is needless to enlarge on this head, you will be at no loss to judge of all the bitterness connected with such a reflection – I must not forget to tell you that soon after my return I rec.d an epistle from Mr [&] Mrs Scott so expressive of the most tender and sympathising friendship as wholly to obliterate the painful impressions whh had been made on [my] mind by those I recd at Sarum –

   Now I must say a little about my dr Esther who I suppose by this time is completely angry and indeed with reason.  I began writing to her the very Day I think that I rec.d hers, whh was truely welcome to me; as it was somewhat less reserved, than I had expected and afforded a hope that she would soon overcome those restraints whh are at present so uncomfortable to herself, as well as to her friends: besides this, it revived afresh that tender and affectionate concern whh I have often felt for her as a Sister, beloved I trust, for Jesus’ Sake, from a connection whh has taken place in my Mind that tho’ as yet her experience be but as the first gleams of dawning light it will in future appear that God hath begun in her that good Work which he will perform untill the day of Christ –

   I have written so long a letter to dr Mr Saffery that I am really inclined to burn it for fear it should lead him to expect his kindness in writing, but indeed when I take up the Pen to address a friend and especially one so valued I find so much to say, that I know [not] how to leave off – a variety of dangers, distresses and sorrows on the one hand and mercies and deliverances on the other crowd on my recollection and induce me continually to trespass on the patience of my Correspondents –

   I think my dr Friend will make no more apologies, nor express any more hesitation about favoring me with a letter after she has survey’d this slovenly performance whh I have indeed reason to be ashamed of.  The only excuse I can make is, that it has been written at no less than four different times, under various disadvantages and the earnest desire of accomplishing my design has led me to overlook the manner of it altogether –

   Do pray write soon & let me hear as much as possible about yourself and the dr Church  I want to hear that many vacant places of myself & others are fill’d up more usefully & honourably than before & that many are saying as constrain’d by Divine Grace – We will go with you for we perceive that God is with you. I must beg you also to inform me how it is with my dr Grace as it respects health and Spirits as I feel unspeakable solicitude on her account –

   Adieu my beloved and valued Friend, that you may be blest not according to my scanty petitions or desires but according to the abundant love & Grace of Him who is able to do for you exceeding and abundantly above all that you can ask, or think, is the earnest prayer of

                     Yours with the tenderest esteem

                                             Anne Andrews

Feb. 5th – 96  –

Affectionate respects to Mr & Mrs Marsh

Text: Saffery/Whitaker Papers, acc. 142, I.A.5.(b.), Angus Library, Regent's Park College, Oxford.  Address: Mrs Saffery. No postmark. For an annotated version of this letter, see Timothy Whelan, gen. ed., Nonconformist Women Writers, 1720-1840 (London: Pickering & Chatto, 2011), vol. 6, pp. 120-22.