Eliza Gould at Dodbrook to Benjamin Flower at Cambridge, Sunday-Monday, 17-18 Nov­ember 1799.

                                                         Dodbrook Sunday Novr 1799

   I this morning my dearest Love found myself so well and so much refreshed from a night of sound sleep that I arose at seven oclock and walk’d with Mary & my brother[1] (who is come hither from Plymouth to see me) nearly an hour on the quay—from this (for me) extraordinary effort I experienced no other inconvenience than a trifling soreness of my lungs which soon went off after being in the House a few minutes—that to descend to minutiae & inform you more particularly of the exact state of my health—my strength gradually encreases as well as my appetite—& tho I still at times experience those feverish heats yet they return less frequently & with less violence than usual I scarcely ever feel any difficulty of breathing tho sometimes when the air is sharp I have a small degree of soreness of the chest but nothing like what I have been accustomed to feel.  I was more sensible of the effect of keen air on Friday & yesterday than I have been for some time—& this susceptibility of cold I must expect to find in some degree during the winter.   I find the oftener I ride on Horseback the stronger I get & the less I am weakened by fever—till now the weather has been against me—we have had but one thorough dry day since I have been here till now.  I do not recollect having once seen the sun of a morning since I came to Dodbrook untill this day—when it appeared to me like the smiling face of a friend—and up I arose in gay spirits to greet him.  I could almost chide you though, for making so many painful apologies in your letter of the twelfth—indeed my dearest Love—I feel very much distressd that any letter of mine should give you the least uneasiness—you know I did not mean to do so—you know that the greatest pleasure I can experience in this world is that of making you happy—my future life shall prove it to you —therefore my dearest Benjamin I must pray you to sign a recantation in your next letter of some sentiments recorded in your last.  When you “stifle” or “moderate your feelings” to me rejoice in the assurance of being the friend of your heart or (according to my & I will add your ideas) the partner of your Life, the wife of your bosom.

   If “Friends must take pleasure in the society of each other and in communic­ating to each other their sentiments & their feelings”—from an affinity of soul, & all those kindred qualities of the mind which denominates our attachment of the highest order, I claim superior privileges.  I know my rights—& here assert them promise me that you will never disguise your feelings but always let me see as you have hitherto done the true colour of your mind—that when you rejoice I might rejoice too—and when you weep I might sympathize with you & mingle my tears with yours—adieu adieu.

                                                                     Monday   3 oclock

The morning proving delightfully since I have been tempted to take a long ride towards the sea and am just return’d in time to acknowledge yours of yesterday and to day—I am glad you have anticipated me but the post will go out immed­iately—& I can only promise you a very long letter I hope soon & tell you again that I am & ever shall be your sincere & affectionate

                                             Eliza Gould

P.S. 

   Mary is no more willing to receive than I to present your very complaisant message—she takes your love in preference.   My Father Mother & Grace desire to be affectionately remembered.

   I am in every respect but one (& this is a selfish consideration which yields to others of more importance) glad that you are not going to travel into Devonshire—the anxiety I should feel lest your business should suffer from such a circumstance taking place would more than counter balance the pleasure I should otherwise experience   we shall I trust meet ere long.  Give my kind Love to Miss Jennings.  I wish she would favor me with a letter—I should have written to her long since had my health permitted me.  If the weather continues fine a fortnight longer would it not be prudent for me to remain [here] for the benefit of it—indeed your letters have already warranted my so doing.  I am glad you have some better specimens of my writing than this scrawl—adieu—I can not save the post.

Shall return through Wellington   when I write again I will give my strength fair play.

Text: Timothy Whelan, ed., Politics, Religion, and Romance: The Letters of Benjamin Flower and Eliza Gould, 1794-1808 (Aberystwyth: National Library of Wales, 2008), pp. 194-95.  At this time, Eliza’s youngest brother, John, was still serving his apprenticeship with Mr. Tonkin in Plymouth.