Spiritual account of Benjamin Hartley, Northampton, to the Managers of the Particular Baptist Fund, London, 21 July 1769.

Northampton   July 21.  1769

  These testify that I Benj.n Hartley was born (June 12.th 1743) in Hullater in the County of Lancashire.  I was brought up under the Inspection and Tuition of religious Parents, attended the Ministry of the Gospel by M.r Sedgfield.  From mine Infancy almost I have had strong Convictions under the Word and at sundry other Times I was struck with Terro^u^r at the dreadful Consequences that must follow mine evil Deeds.  I could not see that there was any possibility for a Wretch like me to escape Hell and Damnation.  When sickness would cease me Death wore a most fearful aspect and the Horro^u^rs of the Damned were oft’n set before mine Eyes.  Yet I was strongly tempted to believe that my Soul was as mortal as my Body, and that tho’ others might be raised again at the last Day, yet certainly I should not.  Judging myself to have more of the brutal Nature in me than others, that it made a considerable difference between me and the rest of Mankind; for I was very much inclined to think such an abject Being as I, was in no case worthy to be remembered by the King of Heaven.  But deep convictions sometimes shifted these Thoughts I found that nothing less than eternal punishmt in Hell would satisfy the Vengeance of divine Justice for my Crimes.  Some such Thoughts as these lasted till I was about 15 when it was I first practised secret Prayer, and here I thought I did very well having brib’d my Conscience with a guilded pretence of doing my Duty, not doubting but Heaven was much obliged to me for so regular a performance of my Duty, and the honour I did and would do to Religion, as I thought I set the fairest Patttern for a good Man of any in the Neighbourhood.  But alas! my Goodness was but like the morning cloud, it soon disappear’d.  I thought it needless to be so very zealous for Duty and Religion, so upon slight occasions I could omit secret Prayer, or at the most mutter over a few Words in Bed, till by degrees I left off all Prayer, and delighted myself in Sabbath breaking, Cardplaying &c. and all manner of Wickedness, so that they were not openly scandalous.  Taking Care to steel my Conscience against all serious Impressions, till I could sin with impunity, so that none of my religious acquaintance knew of it.  Thus I went on till my 21-2 yr, when Mr Ketilby came to Tottlebank, his ministry came with peculiar Force upon my Mind, it gave me a severe Check in the midst of my Career, it not only prevented me sinning at so cheap a Rate, but burdened my Soul with the weight of my Guilt, so I had recourse to an Experiment which I had neglictd for near 6 yrs viz Prayer   which hush’d my Fears for awhile.  But sinning and praying like Dagan and the Ark could not both have a standing together, yet I went on trifling till it was suggested to me that I had sinned past the day of Grace, and that Repentance was deny’d me, and now I had nothing to expect but speedy Vengeance my Thoughts were filled wih Horrour and distress at God’s Wrath and Resentment which I thought hung over my Head   I saw my Heart to be desperately wicked, and the necessity of a better Righteousness than mine.  I begg’d of God to teach me what was meant by praying to God and asking his Favour in the name and for the Sake of Jesus Christ, which God of his infinite Goodness was pleased to answer in a Revelation of himself one Evening (I think ‘twas after I had been at Prayer) my Thoughts were much lead to meditate in the Person and Office of Jesus Christ viz his divinity, birth, suffering, Death, resurection [sic] and Glorification.  I thought I view’d him (in mine understanding) at the right Hand of God having made satisfaction to Justice and intercession for Sinners.  I thought I saw God bowing the Heavens to smile upon me with the light of his Countenance informing me that I stood compleat in his Son,  that his righteousness being imputed unto me I was not only justified and accepted in his sight, but that God took a Delight in me.  These manifestations of God’s Favour Transported my Thoughts into such an extatic rapture of Love and Gratitude as I cannot express.  And tho’ I was often tempted after to believe it was all a Delusion, yet I trust I have enjoyed many repeated visits in Prayer, Meditation &c He has appeared for me in my heaviest Afflictions and been my support in my most exigent Circumstances, his promises has been my Comfort when Troubles surrounded me on every side.  I find that he is daily leading me off the Creature, to put all my dependance upon Christ.  I trust that he has enabled me cordially to receive him as Prophet, Priest, and King, and mine everlasting Portion.

  The following Heads are the essentials of my belief, from the dictates of Conscience and the light I have of the Holy scriptures, not making the Opinions of any Man or sett [sic] of Men the standard of my Faith unless I see them to be founded on Scripture and sound Reason.

1  I believe on a self-existent supreme Being called GOD who is the Author and Governer of the Universe, Body and Spirit.

2.  I believe God is essentially, radically one, but personally three, Viz Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, the same in substance, equal in Power and Glory.

3   I believe Man was created upright, immaculate, in the image of God able to serve him in Holiness, and enjoy him with Gratitude.

4   I believe that Man being perfect was left to follow the Impulses of his own Mind; but fell from his original Rectitude by breaking the Law of his Maker.

5  I believe that in the Day wherein Adam sinned he died spiritually, and God respecting his Covenant with him, might in Justice have punished him and all his posterity with death Natural and Eternal

6  I believe Man by Nature is at enmity with God, and has neither Power or Inclination to turn to God of himself.

7 I believe God from Eternity knew that Man would fall, and resolved to save whom he had chosen by Grace, and gave them into the Hands of Christ to be redeemed.

8 I believe Christ before all Time engaged in Covenant with the Father on the behalf of God’s Elect to save them from Sin & Misery, and make them Holy & Happy

9  I believe that in the fulness of Time the Son of God took the human Nature into unity with the Divine, whereby he was in a Capacity of fulfilling the Law which Man had broken and giving Satisfaction to God’s injured Justice

10 I believe that the Curse and penalty of the Transgressions of the Elect was inflicted upon him that he dy’d for their sins, and rose again for their Justification

11 I believe that he triumph’d over the Powers of Death and Hell at his Resurrection, and opened a Door of mercy that the grace of God might come to the Redeem’d

12 I believe that of all for whom Christ dy’d none shall be lost.  But to such (according to this Promise) he sends his Spirit to convince of Sin, to renew them in their minds to work Faith and Reconciliation to God, cordially to receive Salvation as a free Gift without any Merit or excellency in themselves to recommend them to the Favor of God

13  I believe that the new Nature will never be unsanctify’d any more but maintains a constant War with the Corruptions which are in the Heart by Nature till the Death of the Body.  Consequently no falling from Grace.

14  I believe the holy Scriptures of the old and new Testament to be the pure Word of God

15  I believe that Jesus Christ has instituted two Ordinances for all true Believers Viz Baptism by Immersion and the Lord’s Supper

Benj.n Hartley

Note on back page in Ryland's hand: 

David ^Benjamin^ Hartley | is 24 yrs of Age | Member of a Church | has | Exercised from Time | to Time on a Portion of | Scripture at Northampton

Text: MS. II.a.10.(32), Congregational Library, London. Ryland is wrong about Hartley’s age, for Hartley states his date of birth at the beginning of the above document.