Jane Attwater, Bodenham, to Caroline Attwater Whitaker, Bratton, [Saturday], 4 December 1773.

   My Grateful acknowledgments await my Dearest Dorinda for her kind & welcome letter. I know not how to answer it as I ought or as I wou’d wish to do but be assured tho my Expression fail my Affection is ever sincere¾how just are yr Observations concerning our dear our much lov’d parent how excelent [sic] are her instructions how pervasive her Arguments how earnest are her desires for our Eternal Welfare. May her wishes be accomplish’d & she at the great Day inabled to say with joy unspeakable “Behold here am I & the Children thou hast given me” how happy are we in being Blessed with such a fd – & how will it heighten our folly & remissness if we do not improve such a priviledge. She often speaks to me in the same manner as wn you was here but my stupid heart is often deaf or insensible of the Reality of those important Truths – I blame my self for being as I am most times silent – I know it is nothing but pride or at best sinful Diffidence but I cannot get over it notwithstanding ’tis to the Dearest nearest friend I have in the World this reservedness I think sometimes proceeds fm Ignorance & sometimes fm fear ’tis strange that Immortal beings Candidates together for an Eternity should be so backward of saying any of those things wch are the only truely important –while Vanity & folly can be imparted without ye Least reserve yet such is my supineness – I sleep as it were on the brink as “the next wave may whelm me in the Deep” yet I am unwilling to be awaked or when by some dispensation of providence I am unwilling to shew that I am roused from my Lethargic State ’tis strange that Infinite wisdom should condescend to manifest itself to those who are so backward in acknowledging its inestimable favours – But how many mercies we have recd that have been unacknowledg’d or forgotten should we not rather speak of them to the Glory of the Bounteous Giver.

  The Sabbath Day after you left us I went in the Morning & hd our worthy Friend Mr Phillips I din’d with him & his good wife – they especialy he spoke in a very friendly & free Manner to me I was as my usual custom was struck as it were dumb I see my fault in this respect but find it almost impossible to avoid it I often think of what Doctor Watts says I believe in his Mecellanies says he “speak of Indifferent things such as dress fashion amusements the weather & such like subjects the company with one accord will take their parts in ye conversation but talk of Religion and a Universal Silence insues” thus the Introducers of this subject are become ye alone Speakers and all ye rest silent hearers this damp occasions the Minister to desist fm speaking of what is of Infinitely greater Importance then all sublunary things & discourages them in performing what is evidently their Duty.  If this topick is not in reality disagreeable it certainly has that appearance – I am sorry to see this fault so general in most people. There is few who have regard to those things & fewer who can speak of ym in a manner agreeable but may we not endeavour to shew our approbation of those that promotes such conversation which is the least we can do – If we cannot join as we wou’d wish with them may we study by some means to incourage them in the needful task.

   I am apt to think the Universal Silence wch generaly prevails is tho not meant as such oftentimes a forbidding of people to mention any thing of ye kind again wn on the other hand wn people does so – I know for my own part that one are ready to immagine those good Friends, thinks we have no good in us or desired by us therefore they will not speak on such subjects anymore so that it should be a caution to them not to wholly desist from speaking on religious subjects notwithstanding they may meet with many discouragements in the frequent undertakings as to myself I have often thought when I have been in company with good people that I was the ocasion of their not speaking on serious subjects – and applied that text where it said “Cast not your pearls before Swine” but I fear tho notwithstanding I know myself to be Unworthy yet it is sometimes the fault in the good people too which is a failing greatly to be lamented – how zealous how diligent was the amiable Doctor Dodridge in this part of his Duty on all occasions to introduce something improveing &c It was to be wishd ’twas more observed not only amongst Ministers but among all who profess ye name of Christians – I have read the Life of that Exelent Author & am greatly oblig’d to my dear Sister for the perusal of that valueable Book I think you will like it much may it tend to make us more diligent in running the Christians race more earnest for those supports wch he experienced to encounter with the various trials & temptations we must expect in this State of Probation & Imperfection – how do I admire the Character of this Eminent good man may our Almighty Maker who first spoke us into being tho in an Inferiour Degree

Infuse New Light New life Divine

And make those Graces in me shine.

Through all my swift Revolving Days

Be this my aim to live thy praise

Joyful at last Resign my Breath

And Triumph in the Arms of Death.

My brother will tell you how much we were delighted with our worthy friend The good Mr Phillips wn we staid last Sunday Evening there was a very large congregation how does such a numerous assembly exhilirate our Spirits – It seems as Doctor Watts says a “little heaven below” I know not how it is but a large audience has a great effect on me – While it exalts and animates my Ideas it strikes me with the deepest awe –

   You woud (I think) have been delighted to have been there to have seen with what ardour zeal & candour he adress’d us my heart exulted in injoying this priviledge – may I improve it to the Glory of the Donor together with the numerous others I enjoy – If the dawning of Glory (wch certainly worshiping of God is) is so delightful notwithstanding it is accompanied with many Imperfections wch must necessarily attend the best performances in an Imperfect State what must the perfect Injoyment of it be above may this and every act of worship paid to the supream judge of the Universe tend to warm our hearts with brighter views and more ardent wishes for the full Glories of our God in the world of uninterrupted Felicity – consider O my soul the Infinite condescension of the Almighty Ruler in not only permitting but inviting to partake of those unfadeing pleasures. Yes! Divine Grace has found out a way whereby we may be accepted & not only forgives & accepts but his faithful servants beseech us to be reconcild unto Him. Amazing Mercy & Stupendous Grace! in prostrate love my Soul! Adore thy God

“Lord bring Unwilling Souls to thee

With sweet resistless power

Thy boundless Grace let Rebels see

And at thy Feet adore”

I seem now to want to see my dear Sister as much or more then though you had not been here we are greatly oblig’d for your company the sincere pleasure it afforded us made us the more desire a continuance of it.  Time we know always flys but then a more yn ordinary swiftness seems added to its quick progress – I was sorry to see our dear Phillips enjoy himself no better. Nancy too seem’d rather desirous of Leaveing us.  My love to them & tell them I am happy in injoying their company tho’ they were glad to leave us – a kiss to pretty smiling Maria. I shall long to see you all how I earnestly wish we could lessen the Distance between us but if we had opportunity of seeing each other often I sometimes think we should be too happy or rather to fond of Life – I recd dated last week a valuable letter fm my dearest Silvia I know not wn I shall have ye long wish’d for happiness of seeing but hope to soon I believe she is returnd fm Yeovil.  Cousin Nany Mrs Steele told me had again taken cold how tedious are her afflictions how surprising her patience.

   Please to tell sister Waters Mrs Steele has sent her check &c back She says yt she was sorry there should be such a mistake as she supposed Fidelia intended takeing it to Bratton – our pretty Tommy is a good little boy he seems very contentd in his lonesome situation.  I enquired where the text was wn he came fm Bratton he told me it was about the serpent & a pole by which Intelligence I could easily find it – he has not lost his Cough but is very well else he is now learning a Chapr by Mr Phillip’s orders – I long to see my cousin John please to tell him he must write & was it not too high a favor I wou’d beg my dear Philly to favour me with a Letter soon beg you to write soon a long letter. Excuse this incoherent scrawl let no one see it I must depend on your Affection for me in not letting any one see this as it will hinder my writeing so freely any more therefore if my dear Dorinda wou’d wish to see a picture of her Myrtillas heart she must ever indulge me with the Assurance that no one sees my little tattle but herself – what appears most important to us perhaps to indifferent persons may appear insignificant for I flatter myself there is a small similarity in their feeling in some inferior things – I was sorry you sent that nice piece of honeycombe I fear you depriv’d yr self or dear little prattlers of it many thanks the starch looks quite fine I have not try’d it yet.

   My mama joins me in love & best wishes to our Dear Dorinda the loss of whose much lovd Company we regrett  – but are Grateful for the little we injoy’d & had the pleasure of seeing the injoyment reciprocal as we seem’d sincerely happy in each others converse – I have this evening attend[ed] the funeral solemnity saw the poor remains of another of my fellow mortals consign’d to the Grave they sung the 39th psalm wch seem’d to afford a melancholly pleasure there was something of a solemn awe attending it –  “For us men sicken & for us they die” happy could we by those repeated admonitions learn to be wise knowing it is madness to defer seeing we are every day drawing nearer to the borders of the grave happy those who are prepar’d for this solemn certain Event –  But I must bid you adieu I know not when to leave off wn writeing to my much lovd friend excuse haste & let no one see it & you will oblige my dear

                                                                     Sisters ever affecte

                                                                                 Myrtilla

I have sent Nancys shoes Phillys stockings thinking they may be wanted but your shoes I have kept to send by Champions as Florios packets will be over loaded our Compts to Mr Whitaker & Mrs Drewitt  My Compts to all enquiring fds once more adieu my beloved

                                                         Sister continue to love

                                                                     Your Myrtilla

our dear & hond mothers cough is much better blessed be the kind preserver & bestower of all our Mercies long O long may Gracious Heaven preserved her life – In haste very late

Bodenham  Decr 4th 1773

My love to my dear Fidelia tell her I long for her return & wish them a safe & pleasant journey  Love to Sally & sweet Bill 

My best wishes to Molly –

I will send what there is left by Champion  I cant now

Text: Timothy Whelan, ed., Nonconformist Women Writers, 1720-1840, 8 vols.  (London: Pickering & Chatto, 2011), vol. 8, pp. 139-43 (annotated version); Attwater Papers,  acc. 76, II.B.3.(a.), Angus Library, Regent's Park College, Oxford. Address: Mrs Whitaker | Bratton | Wilts. | “Pr favour of Florio.”  No postmark.  Caroline Attwater (1746-1824), Jane Attwater's elder sister, was also known as “Dorinda”;  Marianna was “Maria”; and Jane was “Myrtilla.”  Caroline married Thomas Attwater of Bodenham on 10 January 1765. 

Henry Philips [Phillips] (1719-1789) was minister of the Baptist congregation at Brown Street, Salisbury, 1766-89, and a close friend of both the Attwater and Steele families. Philips married five times, and several of his wives appear in the correspondence and diary of Jane Attwater Blatch. After the death of his fourth wife in 1784, he remarried one last time, and it is this wife (the "P. Philips" above) who writes the above letter to Jane Attwater, just days before Rev. Philips’s death. Another minister mentioned above is Philip Doddridge (1702-51), one of the most influential Independent ministers of his day. 

Other references above include “Nancy,” who was Caroline Whitaker’s eldest daughter, Anne (1768-79); “Maria,” Whitaker's second daughter, Mary (1773-1800); Mary Steele (1753-1813) of Broughton, Jane Attwater’s close friend; Anne Steele (1717-78) (“Nany”), Mary Steele’s aunt who was entering her final years; “Sister Waters” (“Fidelia”) is Mary Drewett [Drewitt] Attwater (1746-1812), wife of Jane Attwater's brother, Gay Thomas Attwater (1736-92) of Nunton, near Bodenham; “Tommy” (1767-1818) and “John” (1763-99) are the two eldest sons of Gay Thomas and his wife, Mary Drewett Attwater; “Philly” is Philip Whitaker (1766-1847), eldest son of Caroline Attwater Whitaker; “Florio” is Gay Thomas Attwater; Mr Whitaker is Thomas Whitaker (1735-84), husband of Caroline Attwater Whitaker; Mrs “Drewitt” is most likely the mother of Mary Drewett Attwater, whose family lived in Bratton; Sarah Attwater (1765-1830) was Mary Drewett Attwater’s eldest daughter, and "sweet Bill" was William Attwater (1772-1818), her son.