Mary Egerton Scott, Chapel Street, London, to Maria Grace Andrews, Portsmouth, [Friday], 22 May 1795.

Chapel St.  May. 23. 1795

   The sincere & tender regard I feel for my dr Sister, would alone prompt me sooner to answer her kind, but long looked for Letter, even if it did not contain such excuses for her Silence; which indeed in the present instance sufficiently plead in her behalf –

   I have intended these 2 or 3 Days to write to you, recollecting that next week I shall be much engaged – but have been interrupted unexpectedly, every time I set apart for it  which has induced me to set down for that purpose this morning  tho’ my head is really so confused & prone to ake, that I can hardly write a line correctly –

   I was truly concerned at the accounts I received from you & Anne (who wrote to me a little before you did) of dr. Mrs Saffery’s Indisposition, as also the various other distresses that have occurred – but I sincerely rejoice to think of the support & consolation that was vouchsafed her – tho’ it leads me to painful reflections, on comparing her Experience with my own – O! my dr friend, how very differently do you conceive of me than I really am – when you think “I know little what it is to be deprived of that Serenity of Soul which makes Society charming & Solitude delightful” &c &c! –

   With you, I trust indeed, I can say sometimes these privileges are mine – During my long confinement I have methinks tasted some sweet Seasons, in which my Soul was so stayed upon God & resigned to his blessed will, as to make every think appear delightful around me – but these alas! are very transient Visits and of late especially, I have had to mourn perhaps more than usual the absence of these inestimable blessings –  Indeed since I wrote to you, which is so long time ago as the month of February, my mind has undergone a variety of agitations – hopes & fears, joys & sorrows on a Subject I never experienced before but which my dr Sister will readily conceive –

   Very soon after writing my last Letter, the pleasure I there expressed on acct. of our beloved S. was converted into pain & anxiety.  Several things concurred to prove the truth of the pleasing suspicion I had formed – but his cheerfulness & complacency were succeeded by much gloom & dejection – & what was much worse – a violent complaint in his Bowels, which brought him into a very low, languid State – The cloud however gradually dispelled – Since then many changes have occurred – an Eclaircissement has taken place – for indeed there have been Seasons in which his mind suffered so much from various temptations & distresses that it was hardly practicable to reveal the true state of the case – Very lately he has been brought again into a very debilitated State of body almost entirely by the Exercise of his mind – & is now by the kind assistance of Mr. P. but I believe far more the Peace that has been vouchsafed him recovering so as to be enabled to attend in some measure on his wanted Employments & Studies – thus you see, tho’ I have so much to be thankful for; yet my feelings have not lain in a dormant state but on the contrary – from my natural, to great eagerness & impatience of disposition have probably not produced the best effect on my nerves – Except however, that I have been for these few Days rather oppressed with a little feverish heat &c.  I have much to excite my gratitude on the Score of health as considering my want of air & Exercise, it has been on the whole much better than I could have expected –

   My Knee thro’ mercy, has lately I think began to get thin or else for these 2 or 3 months has been much the < > I hop about a little more from room to room – & < > begin almost to entertain hopes that when deprived of the Dr Lady Ms Chais, who will leave town in a few weeks, I may possibly with the help of Crutches or Sticks & a friendly arm get to Chapel in my usual way – a circumstance, for which dr. Sister must remember to pray for me – as now I shd as it [is] a heavy X indeed to be deprived of the privilege I have later enjoyed – Mr. S. desires his affectionate remembrance to you & unites with me in very kind respects to Mr & Mrs S. who I hope are by this time brought out from all their trials as gold purified from the furnace –

   The rest of our family present their kind regards to you.  Betsey is but just returned from two weeks visit to Mrs Barber – who is now gone to Margate – [Whittier?] has kindly visited me – but my lameness renders it almost impossible to go, & makes it very improbable that I shall leave Town at all this Summer a propos!  I hope to hear you have derived much benefit from Sea bathing which if you do not use, I think I shall hardly ever forgive you – I am much concerned for our dr. A. but hope & trust the same gracious God who has dealt so wonderfully with you both hitherto will interpose in her behalf & deliver her from all the distresses & dangers she most fears – I am truly ashamed & concerned to review my Letter – I consider ye sad proof it affords, not only of a stupid head (which is my misfortune) but of a sad, cold, unfeeling heart! Pity me – & pray for me my dr Sister – that He whose presence alone can make us happy – wd lift up ye light of his countenance upon me (and what we ought perhaps still more to desire) enable me to walk far more closely with him & live more devoted to his glory – as be assured that for yourself this, with every blessing, is the sincere prayer of yr. very affectionate

                                             Mary Scott

pray write soon & don’t omit one of ye 1000 things you had to say of yr Situation

Text: Timothy Whelan, gen. ed., Nonconformist Women Writers, 1720-1840, 8 vols. (London: Pickering & Chatto, 2011), vol. 6, pp. 96-98 (annotated version); Saffery/Whitaker Papers, acc. 142, I.B .1.(11.), Angus Library. Address: Miss Andrews | Revd Mr Horsey’s |Havant Street | Portsea | Hants. Postmark: 22 May [the letter is obviously misdated]. 

References above to Thomas Scott, Michael Pearson, and John and Elizabeth Saffery.