Jane Attwater, Bodenham, to Mary Steele, Broughton, [Monday] 17 February 1783.

Monday Eve Feby 17: 1783

   I am just return’d from attending the funeral solemnities of a dilligent useful quiet Laborer one of my Brors men aged about 30 cut off in ye prime of Life snatchd from his weeping partner & those pretty helpless Children. The tear of pity & regret we shed but alas in vain the ways of God are just & ought tho’ many times mysterious & unfathomable. Awful indeed are such bereaving providences peculiarly so wn penury & want must succeed such deprivations – but as I told ye West girl today I hope if she is dilligent to perform her duty &c – that God will provide for them & supply their every need.

   I thank you my beloved Friend for your kind partiality.  I did not receive your lines ’till last Tuesday I earnestly wish to be worthy of ym –  thank you for your welcome letter I can truely adopt ye language of ye first page it suits my feelings exactly – I thank you my young & hond Friend for your kind look in yr visit tho’ transient did not fail to give us all pleasure my Bror says wn his young family are all at home again he will do himself ye pleasure of bringing ym to Broughton that Mr Steele may see his 4 olive branches together. Wt think you of this scheme?

   I hope my dear Friends fears are dissipated about her lovely sister & yt health is or will soon be perfectly established. Long may that amiable plant be spared & bloom in all the beauties possess’d by her dear departed Aunt. In her may Theodosia still live in her virtues & talents as well as in Name.

   I hope Mrs Steeles legs are quite well that you met with no disagreeable Incident in yr return home. You mention’d nothing particular about it hope you did not meet with ye highwayman that we heard since you was here infested yr road about yt time.

   My dear & hond parent thro’ divine goodness is as well as wn you was here that you know was very weak it is indeed my dear Friend thro’ ye kind preserving Interposition of providence that she is now alive. I tremble when I think yet I hope Grateful joy will ever accompany ye recollection. Last Friday after dinner my dear parent was sat in her easy chair in ye parlour. I was reading by ye window wch you know is behind her. On a sudden she fell forwards pitch’d on her forehead so yt her whole weight came on yt part – you may better judge of my surprise & terror yn I can discribe it. I saw nothing of her falling till she was down. Blessed be Infinite mercy that her life was preserv’d no limbs broaken nor I trust no bad consequences will insue tho’ her Eyes are very black & part of her face. There was presently after a swelling over her Eye as large as an Egg but yt soon dispersed & fell into her Eyes wch ye doctor assures me was much for ye best & yt there is no danger of any mortification or any bad effect as its only a common fall. I wrote the same Eve he sent a Lotion to wash ye part affected. Ye next day came to see mama she happened to be chewing some bread & butter wn he came he immediately saw there was no danger of her brain or any parts being materially hurt if it was she cou’d not use yt motion &c – mamas head ached very much after ye fall wch was no more yn we could expect – she slept very well ye insuing night & ye next day seem’d as well as before – May I ever remember with gratitude ye preserving goodness of God. What self reflection should I [have] had if this had been ye cause of her death, tho’ I know not how I could have for[e]seen it as she has so often slept in her chair yet never had this misfortune before. I don’t apprehend it was any thing of a fit as she I believe was in a dose – may it please God to preserve her from every future accident may I double my dilligence in my care & attendance of her – her hand is a little bruised but no where else.

Last week I recd a melancholly letter fm Sister Head. She tells me George is gone to Bath to Mrs Freemans to drink ye waters. Mr Head continues still to swell notwithstanding he has had ye Gout – I much fear we shall not long be favord with this amiable relative – I have not yet wrote her an account of my dear mamas accident I thought it wd be adding trouble to her. Next Saturday I intend to write ye particulars wn I hope to have it in my power to give her a more pleasing account – My Bror has a bad leg oweing to a scald it was very bad for 2 or 3 days but I hope is now better – thus I give you a detail of our Misfortunes. You my dear Friend have a heart to pity & pray for ye afflicted therefore I will not apologize for sending you wt wd afford a disagreeable sadness to me & to you a pensive pleasure in sympathizing with ye distressed whereby [paper torn] joy & alleviate ye weight of woe – poor Mrs Howe I pity her much I [trust] you have heard fm her before this time my love & sympathy await her.

We unite in affecte rememberances to each of your dear circle – before I quite conclude I must tell you something to make you smile as I have been telling you so many things to sadden yr Friendly heart it wd not be right to conceal a means of diversion – last Friday morn early being Valentines day you know a person came with a parcel directed for Miss A.  He carried it to ye other house – previous to this I should have told you I think it was last Tuesday or Wednesday a young Gentn fm Sarum call’d there, desired to borrow a handkerchief as he said he had quite forgot to take one. Coming away in haste he was going further & my cousin Sarah lent him one wch did not fail of being a source of merriment for me to teaze her you know &c – this parcel wch I before mentioned being brot soon after my sister thought it was ye said handkerchief but on opening it found curiously wrap’d up a Tortois shell case very elegantly ornamented with silver wch contain’d two smelling bottles in it. – & a letter expressing great gratitude for ye civilities recd wn here & desireing “the acceptance of this small Trinket not for any Intrinsick worth or value further yn as it proves a Vehicle to convey my warmest acknowledgment & gratitude for ye favors confer’d on me wn at yr house &c &c but on a more minute survey there was found in a Cypher on one side ye case TA [Thomas Attwater] wch together with ye letter pronounced it to be ye Aunts instead of ye nieces – I was very willing to give up my right & title to it as such things only serve to make me uneasy. I do not love to be under obligation to strangers.  I am sorry ye young man shd throw away so much for baubles to please his pride as his obligation was only Imaginary.  It was ye young man yt accompanied Miss Cave. Wt can I do in ye affair?  If I return it it will look as if I thought there was something particular meant wn its no such thing nothing more yn to express gratitude & Friendship but I confess I am his debtor for I do not feel either of those sensations in return – however I wish to know your thoughts on ye matter.

I promise myself much entertainment in Rollin much more yn in my fine present – beg ye favor of a long letter next week if I may not hope for a still greater pleasure ye company of my beloved Friend ye pleasing expectation affords me real joy – the week after next is our sessions of weeks so yt if you should receive no letter yn you must not be uneasy but if I can I will write a line or 2. Put yr kind Intentions in practice as soon as you can & so order yr affairs as to stay as long as you can its charity I know of none more capable to enliven my life & make me think it worthy a wish yn yourself.  Adieu my beloved Friend may ye best of blessings be yours ever wishes

                                 yr Myrtilla

I am sorry my dear friend shd be uneasy about ye [paper torn] I don’t remember yt I thought of her much less wrote. You may depend on my avoiding it in futurity. Also sister Whitaker is better I hope we shall very soon see her here as change of air may [be] a means of establishing her health

Text: Timothy Whelan, ed., Nonconformist Women Writers, 1720-1840, 8 vols.  (London: Pickering & Chatto, 2011), vol. 3, pp. 299-301 (annotated version); Attwater Papers, acc. 76, II.A.6.(ii.), Angus Library, Regent's Park College, Oxford. No visible postmark. Address: Miss Steele / Broughton / Hants.  Mary Steele had recently visited Attwater at Bodenham. References above include the children of Gay Thomas Attwater (Thomas, John Gay, William, and Susan); Anne Steele, Mary Steele's half-sister (she was fourteen at the time of the letter); George Head (he would die in 1785); the Howes of Yeovil, friends of the Steeles of Broughton, the Scotts of Milborne Port, and the Attwaters of Bodenham; and Thomas Attwater of Bratton, Jane Attwater's brother-in-law.