Maria Grace Andrews, Isleworth, to Mrs. Elizabeth Saffery, Salisbury [c. 15 September 1794].

   The haste, with which I address you dear Madam, constrains me to silence: a thousand feelings, which I wd fain indulge in conversing with you, those things which lie dearest my heart; but as I can not tell how soon, I may be hinder’d from talking to my dear Friends, & the time allow’d is but short, I must curtail the Packet, & only express a few of those things which concern me in the limits of this little Sheet. –

   After much anxious, (I am afraid impatient expectation,) my dear Sister, told me she had received & forwarded your Pacqet, to Town; where I had been some time; but had not received it.  This was about a week since, & you may judge in some degree of my disappointment & regret. At last however it appear’d effectually to dispel my discontent, tho’ I suspect you will not receive this on acct of its been so long detain’d & I unable to answer it directly. –

   Many thanks to you, my indulgent Friend, not only for the attention of your own Correspondence but for your kind Intercession; (Mr Saffery says he wrote at our request.)  I have perused, & reperused, the friendly Sheet, & was I hope as indeed I ought, comforted, humbled, & instructed by it.  It gives me a refreshing sight of the Lords Mercies, I consider your affection with all the advantages derived fm it, as a part of his paternal bounty.  Ah! it makes me feel the poverty of my gratitude, & the insufficiency of my praise (Remember I always protest against Liliput paper.)

   I calld one Even:g in Newman Street, during my stay in town.  Mrs Shoveler was rather poorly, fm fatigue. Mr S. was at Chapel.  I kiss’d the dear little Girls for you, as you desired. I was kindly intreated to call again but cd not; fm the daily expectation, of my Father in town. It seem’d as if I was going to visit an old Friend, because it was your Sister –

   Mr & Mrs Scott return Xan love they seem quite above those prejudices I once fear’d, & altogether affectionate.  I bless God for an opportunity of hearing many glorious truths concerning the Gospel of Christ, in the great City, but indeed my beloved Friend I long to be at home with you, to sit under my dear Pastor, & to enjoy the lively Ordinances of God[’s] House.  I can now I think better perceive the just, & beautiful, abodes of our Church. I hope I am not uncandid, but tho’ I saw much mark of yt godly Simplicity, which so adorns the doctrines of God our Saviour, in the Family; I seem’d to lose it in the Congregation.  Alas! for that sweet fellowship of Soul, that delightful union of heart, which if not deceived, I have (tho’ imperfectly) experienced, in the select Society, of Brown Street.  You see dear Madam, I am not consenting to a residence in Town; no if it be the Lords will, I mean returning very soon.

   My Father was much discomposed, at Mr Saffery’s letter from my G. M:hr, & wd hardly consent to my seeing it, but he seems concern’d for my uneasiness, especially on the Sabbath Day’s, which I have spent here: & does not seem to contradict, but rather to delay my wishes.  One thing I must tell you in confidence; he said the other Night, “I have a great mind to go into Lodgings alone; and let you both return to Sarum, only providing Mr Hardg a larger house.  Would not this be the Lords doing; and marvellous in our Eyes?

   You wd be amused with the various conjectures form’d about me in this place.  Some I fancy have decided yt I am in love; & they, I hope are right; only they mistake the object. Others have provided for me, in their own minds, with a circle of gay acquaintance at S—y, when I say no, but there are many amiable persons, whom I greatly esteem, they are silenced.  But to return.

   I have been reading Brainerds journals &c &c; & find myself, a poor, cold, stupid hearted Creature.  Alas I shrink back fm a Comparison.  O ’tis a great thing, to have the Soul intent upon the Glory of God; to have every meaner purpose of the mind, subdued.  a Self with all its base enjoyments, sunk, & forgotten, at the feet of infinite Majesty.  Yes I want to say –

 “This be my Care, to all beside,

Indifferent let my wishes be;

Passion be calm; & dumb be pride;

And fix’d O God, my Soul on Thee.”

And no dear Md, if this arrives before your departure to Bristol, do let me know it, because I am so vain, as to suppose will be uneasy, if it should not.  My dr Anne would be gratefully remember’d to you, & Mr S.  She is about to answer his last letter to Mr & Mrs H.  Most affectionate remembrances if you please, for me, to all our dear Friends.  I hope I am thankful, for what you tell me of Sarah Hobbs.  May the Lord prosper his own Work, in every Soul, yt dares to confess His great Name, amongst us: & grant his dear Servant, many Children; to seal his ministry below; & enrich his Crown of Glory above. –

                                             Yrs with ye most unfeign’d Affection, & Respect,

                                                                     Maria Grace Andrews

Text: Timothy Whelan, gen. ed., Nonconformist Women Writers, 1720-1840 (London: Pickering & Chatto, 2011), vol. 6, pp. 78-79 (annotated version); Saffery/Whitaker Papers, acc. 142, I.A.11.(f.), Angus Library. No address page or postmark. Newman Street runs north and south between Mortimer Street and Oxford Street, just to the west of Tottenham Court Road, in central London.  The Shovellers attended the Baptist meeting in Eagle Street. Above is the only overt reference in the surviving letters to the fact that Mrs. Andrews is now deceased, the cause of her death unknown. 

David Brainerd (1718-47) was a celebrated American missionary to the Native Americans of Massachusetts, Pennsylvania, and New Jersey, 1742-46. He spent his final months in the home of Jonathan Edwards at Northampton, Massachusetts, before succumbing to consumption. Brainerd’s Journal was published in 1746; Edward’s Account of the Life of the Late Reverend Mr. David Brainerd appeared in 1749. The Account was republished in Edinburgh in 1765, an edition that was widely circulated among the evangelical Calvinists and which had great influence upon the pioneer Baptist missionary, William Carey. Quoted lines above are taken from ‘On the Wise Distributions of Providence’, found in Psalms and Hymns for the Use of Tavistock Chapel, Broad-Court, Long-Acre (London, 1796), hymn IX, p. 101.