Jane Attwater, Bodenham, to Mary Steele, Broughton, [Monday] 21 February 1785.

   To say I thank my beloved Fd for her kind letter is [paper torn] an Expression – accept my Love & thankful acknowledgments for Every unmerited Instance of your valued Friendship.

   I wish you had it in your power to tell me your Eyes were better but alas this pleasure is denied me I have with a perfect recovery to wish also for a continuance of that happy disposition of mind wch can inable you to bear the fear of losing such a valueable blessing with a degree of composure unknown to the unthinking multitude. Happy my dear Friend for you that will yield you a pleasing repast even should our most gloomy fears be realized – but I trust providence will be yet more propitious direct too & bless some means for your perfect recovery.

   I fear ye pressure does not answer ye expected end. Permit me again to beg my dear Fd to be very careful to have ye best advice on this occasion – have you wrote to yr Dr, if you have does he advise you to persevere?

   I am anxious about Mr Head & Sister.  I thank you for your Intelligence it was later yn any I have had as I have recd but one letter fm my sister since I came from Bradford notwithstanding I have wrote several times.

   You told me before of poor Harrys death but I am surprised to hear you speak of Thos surviving him – you must think it very strange yt I never mentioned the poor old man but I from wt occasion I know not was perswaded he was dead & wn I was at Bradford we was talking of him Mr Head confirm’d me in my opinion beg you to put me right in this matter soon.

   I am sorry my dear Fd should feel a moments unnecessary uneasyness about her unworthy Myrtilla ye letter wch my sister refer’d to was wrote more yn a month before. Believe me I enjoy very good health much better yn I even expected I should after feeling wt I have of late but my God has supplied all my need blessed be yt preserving & supporting goodness wch I have to acknowledge with gratitude [...]

   I am glad to know yt you approve of my scheme if its for ye best I hope it will succeed but I cannot help thinking of your papas objection. I hope to have his approbation in every thing I undertake I mean consequential things as that will have very great weight with me as well as yourself. There is now an estate not much more yn a mile fm hence wch we have some thoughts of but we know nothing how it will be yet as perhaps the present Tenant may continue in it – if so I hope it will be for the best – I assure you if we should enter on this it will be no small undertakeing.  You can enter into my feelings better perhaps yn most others & I confess I cannot with any degree of pleasure live a useless inactive life did my Friends or relations want my poor assistance they should be welcome to it but to do ym nor myself neither any good is a very disagreeable reflection.  You & I are very different. You have still the dearest blessing of a fond & affecte parent whose happiness greatly consists in your converse & successful efforts to render the decline of life pleasing & happy, but I am bereft of this my life’s best Blessing &c. There is none to whom my poor Services can possibly be needful &c &c but I must not long animadvert on this too too painful Subject.

   My Bror nor I have not read ye letters you mention but I don’t love to be so troublesome – I don’t think it best to send ye Books tomorrow as I proposed as I hope to have ye pleasure of seeing you soon.  It gives me real pleasure to hear you or rather see you say you anticipate ye pleasure of visiting putting your kind Intention into practice in wch request my sister Attwater kindly joins me.  She has no particular business at present nor in prospect for a considerable time so yt I am very punctual in remembering my promise. Of late ye Extreem cold weather & various little avocations there was transacting made me silent on the subject. – now I think my dear Friend will not long deny me ye promised pleasure. – must beg you to be here at ye Assizes as we purpose going to hear ye trial of some of our neighbours poor Molly I pitty her wt must her feelings be?  2 little children & soon expects another. –

   Yesterday I was at Sarum saw Mr & Mrs Marsh who made their appearance I din’d with Mr Philips Mrs P &c was exceeding Friendly enquired kindly for you – I went to Sarum again to day in business had a very bad journey home but opportunely was overtaken by Miss Loyds carriage in wch I ended my jaunt quite with an Eclat as they bro’t me home to ye door. The snow was so thick on ye windows yt I did not know where I was till ye footman opened ye door for me to alight – In riding home I was led to reflect on ye kind Interpositions of providence in the lesser as well as ye more Important events of my Life & shall I in future Exigencies as well as past Experience thy guardian care & blessing. “O my ever present protector still let me trust thy parental care thankfully acknowledge ye past & with humble confidence trust thy future Indulgence” – forgive this little digression we are often led by little occurances to reflect on most Interesting concerns. Enlivener grows every day more & more ingaging and is the amusement [of] us all – we unite in affecte commendations of Friendship [If we do] not see you before hope to hear next week wn we may expect ye pleasure of seeing you beg a line of Information next week.

   Adieu my dear Friend may every Blessing attend you & yr much loved circle wishes your truly affecte & Faithful Friend

                                 J Attwater

Feby 21: 1785

Beg you to excuse all incoherencies as I write downstairs with all talking round me – the assizes begin ye 5th of March

Text: Timothy Whelan, ed., Nonconformist Women Writers, 1720-1840, 8 vols.  (London: Pickering & Chatto, 2011), vol. 3, pp. 307-09 (annotated version); Attwater Papers, acc. 76, II.A.6.(iii.), Angus Library, Regent's Park College, Oxford. No postmark. Address: Miss Steele / Broughton / Hants. The above letter is torn at top of the second page and the next portion is missing; all that can be read is the phrase ‘remove the doubts about’. It may well have been about a sensitive topic and was removed intentionally. The next sentence mentions a ‘scheme’ Attwater has in mind, and it may be she has brought up more details about her desire to purchase a farm, a decision she would continue to pursue with her brother at this time.