Maria Grace Andrews, Salisbury, to Anne Andrews, Portsmouth, [c. June 1797].

My dear Anne,

   Tho’ I am alternately exercised with hope & fear about carrying intelligence by Rook to night, I cannot suffer him to go to morrow without conveying something, however unimportant to P–  the weather is exceedingly stormy & unsettled, takes its usual effect in giving me a nervous head-ache but I am otherwise tolerably well.  Papa is gone to Shrewton & Hannah to see her Mother & Sister elect so that I am solitary in the House while I write this – I intend to employ a little time after Tea in writing to my dr Mama perhaps I had better have delay’d it all till then, lest you should mistake my stupidity for indisposition such indeed it is & of the worst kind too but as it is beyond human aid so it fails generally to excite to human Pity.  The Poet well described it when he said

Sin like a Venemous disease

Infects our Vital blood;

The only balm is sovreign grace

And the Physician God.

Not that I wd by any means impeach the compassionate tenderness of my dr Sister nor suppose her unskilful in pouring the balm of consolation on the wounded Mind sweet experience has often convinced me of the contrary – but you will acknowledge my sweet Girl yt we are naturally prone even as Xians to feel proportionately more on acct of ye temporal than spiritual sorrow of our Friends provided they are indeed of such a nature as do not lead us to doubt ye safety of their state, I mean here anything inconsistent appearing in their outward conduct wh may occasion distress – now don’t you think my love that if I had been telling you yt I was really sick as to the body or exercised wh some external trial (neither of wh thro’ divine mercy is ye case) that you wd have been far more sensibly affected than you now are while I am complaining to you of a sin disorder of Soul. I know indeed that many things might be urged to justify in some sort the comparative ease with which we listen to the griefs of those who feel the plague of their hearts. I desire to be thankful for the sympathy I find on Earth, but more especially wd I rejoice in the loving temper of yt God who lets the sighing of ye Prisoners come before him & who I trust will eventually deliver me from this body of Sin & Death thro’ Jesus Christ my Lord – Precious Salvation one can hardly realize it without wishing the past agonizing struggles with corruption at an End what an amazing change will then take place both as it respects things without us & within us no more beholding of transgression so as to be grieved no more shall we be horribly afraid for ye ungodly, no longer shall we see Jesus wounded & betray’d by Friends, or followers either real or profess’d nor hard to glean as now, while we detect ye hourly treasons of our own perfidious hearts, against his sacred Majesty – then –

         We shall see his face,

         And never, never, sin –

I begin to tremble at thought of the next Sabbath after ye conversation we had I need not enter here into my feelings in anticipation of ye Ordinance – I am sure you will pray for me if you reflect on my peculiar situation respecting it I mean particularly on yt acct – may it be a sweet [savor] to us both.  I am determined not to yield to ye cruel artifices ys Evening nor ye more dangerous unbelief of my heart – but I must < > you tho’ I cd go on to tell you more of those feelings wh prove me what you can want no proof of my being, even a poor Sinner in great need of the mercy of God & ye patience of his people.

   Farewell my Love, Yours ever tenderly & truly

                     M. G. Andrews

Tell me in your next more about our sweet little Mary affectionate remembrances to such of our dr Friends my beloved Niece her papa & mama  Mr & Mrs S  Mr & Mrs H in Queen St &c &c  The old Gentleman begs love I wish almost you wd enclose a letter for him giving some acct of Portsmouth & Portsea &c &c  Hannah who is great comfort to me begs I am sure kind love & all Friends indeed remote in it.

Text: Timothy Whelan, gen. ed.,  Nonconformist Women Writers, 1720-1840, 8 vols. (London: Pickering & Chatto, 2011), vol. 6, pp. 142-43 (annotated version);Saffery/Whitaker Papers, acc. 142, I.B.4.a.(1.), Angus Library. Address:  Miss Andrews | Wednesday. No  postmark. The house of William Hewett of Shrewton was licensed as a place of Baptist worship in March 1795, with the application signed by Hewett, Thomas Kellow, William Weare, William Blake, John Beast, along with the marks of Guy Coombs, Isaac Dogget, and Thomas Shergold, all inhabitants of Shrewton. Saffery began preaching to this fledgling congregation in 1794. See J. H. Chandler, Wiltshire Dissenters’ Meeting House Certificates and Registrations 1689-1852 (Devizes: Wiltshire Record Society, 1985), p. 43.