For the Morning Chronicle.

To Benjamin Hopkins, Esq;

Sir,

I have read your address to the Livery of London; requesting their votes at the ensuing election for Chamberlain, I doubt not but you have some hopes of success, as you say you have diligently performed the duties of your office as Alderman; constantly endeavouring to preserve the peace, order, and tranquility of the City; that you are well affected to his Majesty King George; and to our happy constitution; in short, that your character is irreproachable both in public and private life.  Now, Sir, I inform you, that you are quite mistaken if you think that the above qualifications will induce the Livery to give you their votes.  Time was when they bestowed their favours on men of tried virtue and integrity (particularly at the last election for Chamberlain, when Sir Stephen Theodore Janssen was chosen, because his private character was excellent, as he was honest, and paid every body their own) but times are altered, as some persons of late, famous in the causes of liberty (or rather libertinism) have so opened the eyes of the Livery that their conduct is diametrically opposite to what it was 15 or 20 years ago; as they have lately atoned for their conduct, by chusing men who have not a grain of either virtue or integrity, but who on the contrary are friends to all sorts of liberty, both in publick and private life.  However, Sir, that you may not plead ignorance in this affair, I shall a little instruct you in the duties of a Chamberlain of London, and give you some directions how to fill your office with honour to yourself, and to the worthy citizens who elect you.  The first qualification necessary for a Chamberlain is, that he should be strictly pious and religious.  Now, Sir, let me advise you to shew a particular respect to religious liberty, by blaspheming your maker; not only with your lips; but with your pen, make a jest of every thing sacred, especially of that old fashioned book called the Bible.  The second qualification necessary for a Chamberlain of London is, that the whole of his character in private life should be irreproachable, that he may enforce the good advice given by him to apprentices, by his own examples.  Now, Sir, I advise you to endeavour to instill into the minds of youth the noblest principles of all sorts of private liberty by persuading them to live lives of luxury, profligacy, and debauchery.  And I do not know a better book you can put into their hands than one lately published by a virtuous modern patriot under the title of an Essay on Women [Benito Jeronimo Feijoo]. A book that will qualify them for every duty civil and religious, and, I doubt not, will in time make them harlots.  The third qualification necessary for a Chamberlain is, that he should be strictly honest in all his proceedings; as a merchant or tradesman, honour and justice should be his standard.  He should likewise be a man of considerable property, as money to a large amount is intrusted with him by the city. Now, Sir, in order to be thoroughly qualified in this respect, spend every shilling you are possessed of in the most luxurious manner, and then live upon the most barefaced frauds.  I now come to the 4th and last qualification absolutely necessary for a Chamberlain of London, namely, that he should be a person thoroughly attached to our most gracious sovereign, and to our happy constitution.  Now, Sir, in order to shew your loyalty, publish what you yourself know to be a most scandalous libel against his Majesty, his family, and his ministers; when you have tried what that will do, apply to these very ministers for a place, or a pension to stop your mouth, or if refused, rage with ten times more virulence against our fool of a K—, and his knavish ministers, who bestow so many places and pensions on worthless characters.  And as a Chamberlain of London is obliged to give an oath to every freeman, that he will be loyal, and proclaim every treason, conspiracy, rebellion, &c. shew how fit you are on this office, by not only encouraging individuals, but a whole nation in open rebellion against the King and constitution, rave and make a noise about the liberty of the press, tell the people that they are on the point of losing this inestimable privilege, while you and your party at the same time publish the most notorious falsehoods and inflammatory paragraphs against your opponents; another way to shew your love for the liberty of the press is, to openly vindicate a set of people, who because their printer published something that was not agreeable, sent a band of ruffians into his house, who destroyed all his presses, types, &c. so that the poor printer, who is in the decline of life, has lost almost all he is worth in the world; shew your love to liberty by vindicating the above wretches, who banish and ruin every one that differs from them, sequestering their estates, &c.  And in order to compleat your character, and make you election sure, tell every one who votes against you that he is a ministerial hireling, a contractor, a pensioner, &c.  Now, Sir, if you attend to the advice I have given you for your conduct in public and private life, you will soon arrive at the summit of modern patriotism, and may be sure of success in every election; but alas!  alas!  I am informed that a worthy gentleman has just started as a candidate for Chamberlain, who has for these twenty years followed the advice I have now given you, one who is a perfect adept in all the black arts above mentioned, consequently I am afraid you stand no chance, especially as (to the immortal honour of the Livery) he has been elected to every public city office; and if he is not chosen we shall all be slaves, for to us his own words at a former election, “Now is the time whether Liberty shall ride triumphant, or abject and confirmed slavery be the hard lot of the citizens of London.” However, I will close my letter with one word of consolation, practice as much as possible the above advice, and you will win every election; your private character will (I doubt not) be loved, admired, esteemed, and, if possible, imitated, and you will be drawn triumphant through the city, not by four-legged horses, but by two-legged asses.

               I am, Sir,

                           Your humble servant,

                                             A Modern Patriot

Text: The Morning Chronicle and London Advertiser, Monday, 12 February 1776. This was Benjamin Flower’s first piece of published political prose, written at the age of twenty. My thanks to David Lindsey for locating Flower’s letter to the Morning Chronicle in the British Library while serving as my research assistant in the summer of 2002.