Eliza Flower at Hertford and London to Benjamin Flower at Cambridge, Saturday-Monday, 11-13 July 1801.
Cambridge[1]
Saturday 12[2]—1801
My dear Benjamin
Tho I write but a few lines now I must not let the day pass without having some conversation with you—I came hither about two oclock your Brother met me at Ware soon after my arrival and I received a kind welcome both from him & your sister.
My Heart ached not a little when I parted from you. When I perceived the Tear which trembled on your Eye I was not in good spirits the whole of my Journey & almost resolved not to play truant again however my dear love I have determined on returning home next week—no where is like home to your Eliza—no society has charms for her of which her Benjamin is not a member.
I have now a little head ach which I hope rest will soon remove. I shall not sleep the worse by placing your representative still nearer my heart on which a correspondent image is so deeply engraved. I shall not show your picture to your Brother because he neither knows how to value or respect such feelings as ours. Good night my love I shall bid you good night by & by in another way.
Sunday afternoon
I awoke this morning at half passed eight oclock after a wholesale nap of very refreshing sleep I am quite comfortable and have got rid of my headach & I am very sorry that Mrs Flower cannot go to Hackney as was her intention she is from her situation too heavy to undertake the Journey safely and I have to undergo alone my Hackney Ordeal for such I consider my visit to your Mother.[3] Mr Clayton was not the kind reporter of that story of Mrs Chater’s but your Sister and Mrs Flower informs me that your Brother Wm is still more rancourous and bitter against us than your sister Clayton notwithstanding his affected civility. Oh the Hypocrite I detest him—but let us pause for a moment my dearest love to bless God that he has not inflicted on us one of the heaviest evils which a human being can suffer—a malevolent disposition for I consider a human being possessed with a malignant spirit but one degree removed from an Infernal & perhaps in guilt of mind but little superior. Mrs F says that having heard so much she dreaded going to Hackney without me lest from your Mothers many enquiries her replies might be misconstrued however my dear Love this once I will go & bear the unjust reproach with as much patience & good temper as my christianity will inspire & considering your mother’s great age[4] & many prejudices I think I can bear much without retorting tho perhaps not without tears tho the reception I meet with will determine whether I ever go again. I shall get your Brother to sit with her when I am to go & I shall contrive to make my visit as short as possible.
Monday
London—I came hither this morning about 9 oclock just in time to breakfast at Mrs Macaulays[5] where your Brother sat me down. I then called on Mrs Goodall & took a second Breakfast from thence called on Harriet—then on [to] Miss Vowell who is gone to Margate & from thence called on Mrs Creak. I am now at Docr Hawe’s where I have dined—my plan is to sleep here & to morrow after having done all my errands go to Walworth. I thought of going thence to day but Harriet tells me the family are all out & I am not sorry as it will give me a little more time with her. I shall anxiously expect to hear from my dearest Benjamin on Wednesday morning I am sure he will not disappoint me—direct your letter [to] Mr Davidsons Fish street Hill as I shall most likely be in Town early. I hope Mary[6] has taken good care of the poor women & neither forgotten my birds nor my garden—she will have to visit Mrs Herring—Harrison—South—Hays—Maltby, Smith [of] Castle end, & Purkis[7]—these should all have candle on Wednesday or at the farthest Thursday. After Mrs South has half the candle Wednesday she will not I think need farther relief. If you have not disposed of all the money which you designated for charitable purposes will you my love send Mrs Maltby some as I fear they are very destitute.
Your Brother Richard & William had some time ago a very serious quarrel on your account insomuch that the former was so agitated as to pass a sleepless night in consequence & to resolve never more to give the latter an invitation to Hertford—but more of this when we meet. I dwell on that little word with much pleasure & anxiously anticipate the arrival of Monday—tell when you write about what time [it] is that [I] may expect you & I will walk towards Ware[8]—pray my love be very particular when you write—say how you have your [missing word] on—how you are & have been kind love to Mary yours for ever—
E Flower
Text: Timothy Whelan, ed., Politics, Religion, and Romance: The Letters of Benjamin Flower and Eliza Gould, 1794-1808 (Aberystwyth: National Library of Wales, 2008), pp. 233-35 (a more annotated text than that which appears on this site).
The above letter commenced in Hertford and finished in London; Elizabeth Flower, Benjamin’s sister-in-law, was pregnant at this time with her fifth child, Mary Catherine (1802-52); Selena Mills of Bristol married the future abolitionist leader, Zachary Macaulay, on 26 August 1799; Eliza’s youngest sister, Mary, came to live with the Flowers in late 1800 or early 1801, remaining until c.1805, when she lived for a time with her brother, John, in London.